Friday, 11 June 2010

Friday flashlets

Kim gave me a couple of challenges...
"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Teletubbies and I, Robot. The story should use competing in a Rock Band tournament as a plot device!"


*Eh-Oh!* said Tinkey Winkey. La-la put down her ball and waved back. *Eh oh Tinkey Winkey* she said. Noo-noo looked over, sighed in dispair, picked up the Gibson Les Paul in Sunburst, counted down in his little cyber-brain, *One, two, one two three* and blasted a power chord in A minor


"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining A-Team and Muppet Babies. The story should use unplanned pregnancies as a plot device!"


*Face!* yelled Miss Piggy. *Face, put down the Thompson machine gun and listen. I've got tell you!*


"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Big Brother and Frankenstein. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device!"

Really? Okay...

Artemis thought all would be simple. He'd been tasked by the young Dr Frankenstein to acquire one human brain, that may power his creation of reanimated tissue. One brain, capable of the most basic thought, should be sufficient for his purpose. To this end Artemis had broken into a strange building, skull-saw in hand, to observe the occupants, and select the most agile brain.

A voice boomed out. *You are given the task of unblocking the toilet. The first to achieve this task gets an automatic pass from the first vote!* Artemis watched the disparate group approach the porcelain device. This should give him an insight.
An hour later he left, having fortuitously managed to decapitate a passing cockroach


Monday, 7 June 2010

Old age!

Oh! I don't want to seem like a pain
But this thought has got lodged in my brain.
Can I be slightly shifty?
I don't WANT to be fifty!
Can I reset to 40 again?

They say that Life Begins at forty.
You're tall, healthy, sexy and sporty.
At 50? There's gout
Baldness, hair falling out
And you're not up to anything naughty.

I don't have a problem with age
But being young seems all the rage
When you reach 49
You cross some sort of line
And get put in the *Old Ruin* cage

And at times I have to agree
I'm no longer as fit as a flea
All my bits used to function!
Now I'm slathered in unction
With rheumatics in elbow and knee

But then look at the youth of today.
They think violence is some sort of play
And stealing is fun
As is owning a gun
And stabbing folk who get in their way.

And...I'm not really such an old fart
I've experience and facts to impart.
No, sod it, okay
That's fine. 50 I'll stay.
(Can I just have a body restart?)